Personal Walls and Barriers

Many people have their own ways of dealing with situations and people in their life that they may not be able to handle. We all have our own defense mechanisms, which can be triggered by a number of different situations and are displayed in a vast number of ways.

 



People walls are stronger than actual walls!

For some of us it's easy to push things away instead of deal with them directly. For others it's easier to point a blaming finger at someone instead of accepting fault. A few people will simply cut those things and people out of their life that they view as disturbing. Other people do things intentionally to keep people out or away even when they truly want people in their lives.

 

There are ways to handle these people and it should be done on a case by case basis. In my opinion one of the most difficult things to handle are those people that block you out, by building walls and barriers. People build these
barriers for many reasons be it from past hurt, insecurities
or whether or not they believe it's in their best interest.
Now you the outsider have a task at hand.

 

It is possible to get over another persons walls and barriers that they put up but it takes three important skills and those are patience, understanding and a level of finesse.

Without being patient you won't get anywhere with the person who has built a wall between you and them. You're going to get frustrated and give up because it may take an extended amount of time to over come the wall.

With frustration comes aggression and chances are that the person on the other side of the wall is in a fragile enough state to not respond well to your frustration or aggression; you will only push them further away.

Most of the time you will deal with other peoples barriers better if you try to understand them. You don't necessarily have to be empathic or even agree with their approach but try to understand their view point or reasonings behind their actions or distance. If you try hard enough you might be able to meet them where they are at or even overcome their barriers.


True statement; I do this often.
Sometimes I feel as though I live in a box.

They key is to always remember that people who are distant from the world around them were not always that way. If you care enough about that person you won't pass judgement or mock them and you will try to learn their story with finess, understanding and patience.