Friends and Benefits

The words "Friends" and "Benefit” seems to have been distorted; when I think about it their definitions have been distorted as well. I'm noticing that when I'm walking down the street men are offering me benefits and both my male and female friends tell me things about "Benefits they share with Friends". In my opinion I think the concept is not acceptable and it causes problems within the friendship. In worse case scenario's the situation does not end the way either party anticipated and they never speak or can never get back to the level of friendship that they were once on.
Personally, a friend to me is someone who you have mutual affection for without being related to or having sexual relations with. I get highly upset when a guy approaches me and says he wants to be a friend of mine yet he's trying to get with me. This behavior tells me three important things about their personality:

1) Their confused or in the least bit we don't have the same outlook on things, therefore we won't be able to connect well.

2) By trying to slither into my world wearing one mask and instantly changing to another I think, feel and strongly believe they're a wolf in sheep’s clothing and I was taught to not trust these types.

3) You don't strike me as someone who is straight forward or honest. I feel that a guy who is honest and about something will present that in his approach. He is not going to waste my time or his with some B.S notion of a friendship, unless that's what he truly wants.

Then there's this ongoing concept of "benefits". In my opinion benefits are something people get from the government when in need, or a service that they positively gain from. I think its ridiculous when people are talking about benefits between people like it's a service their gaining or truly benefitting from. In life I feel there are only a few things people should be benefitting from.

1) A good Education: To gain personal growth and development

2) A Good job or source of money: To help provide, pursue and enjoy the finer things in life

3) A means to gain and maintain the basic necessities of life; shelter, food, clothes, etc.


When I hear people speak of these things casually at times I get annoyed and frustrated because it sheds a light on a few realities for me:

1) This is now an acceptable norm in society; people in opposite-sex friendships only are in these friendships with one ultimate goal and usually it's not a relationship.

2) People are okay with using each other and being used as long as it's sugar coated. Using the term "benefits" make it easier to accept the fact that you're using someone or being used by another.


3) People today just don't know how to be friends let alone what a true friendship is all about.