Be Accountable Or Be Angry

I have had the recent experience of engaging with a person who lacks the ability of accepting their own accountability in a situation that they helped create... First and foremost for you people reading this who feels that taking accountability is about being wrong or right; stop right there, because you're WRONG. When a person takes accountability for their role in a situation it doesn't mean that they are giving up their view point or saying anyone is right OR wrong. What it means is that the individual is aware of the fact that their actions, or their lack of acting helped the outcome of a situation.

Here's a sensitive example that many people could relate to. A hypothetical situation to help you see how acting or the lack to act can impact a situation that could have had a completely different outcome:

Princess China gets pregnant by Prince Jamaica. Prince Jamaica initially told Princess China he wanted to be her man. She says yay and sleeps with Prince Jamaica because she was on a drought. After they get sexually involved Prince Jamaica thinks she is easy and begins to say that he doesn't want to be with Princess China, that they have to grow to a relationship; yet they are already doing things people in a relationship do. WHY?!, because Prince Jamaica approached Princess China under the false pretenses of being her man. Princess China leaves Prince Jamaica alone for weeks. Prince Jamaica calls her out of the blue, one day on a holiday. Princess China feels special and thinks yippee, maybe we can work something out.

Oooops!!! Princess China gets pregnant but does not know. Now, she is hormonal and sensitive, but thinks she is just angry with Prince Jamaica because he is not being nice to her and mistreating her all because he was not serious when he initially said that he wanted to be her man. Princess China decides to move on and discovers she is 5 weeks pregnant. She reaches out to Prince Jamaica panicked at first. Then she softens her approach, only to be told to have the baby and give it away to him. Princess China feels threatened now, she becomes hormonally aggressive and thinks that Prince Jamaica is going to take her baby or neglect the child if she keeps it. After numerous FAILED attempts of contacting her sweet Prince, who is now beyond non responsive; Princess China begins serious deliberation.

Princess China was like No Nigga..LOL

She considers the fact that her sweet Prince was never a Prince at all, nor was he sweet. She recalls him complaining about finances, the fact that he needs to get his life together and she recalls how he manipulated language by reeling her in when he initially stated that he wanted to be her man but that he doesn't want to be in a relationship. Princess China recalled him stating that she tried to force him into a relationship. Princess China also considers the fact that he is a father and is not very proactive as one. She considers her own life and the impact a new child would bring. Princess China has children already; she is a single mom, living in poverty and does not see herself handing away a human life to anyone because she is not a BREEDER on a plantation. Princess China decides the best thing to do is terminate the pregnancy that has brought her more grief than peace.

Prince Jamaica is constantly ignoring Princess China even though he now knows she is pregnant. He goes on living his daily life not even considering what Princess China could be going through; he doesn't care about Princess China nor is he being fair to her. He continues going on like he just played a game with her and threw her in the garbage where he thought she and her stupid pregnancy belonged. Prince Jamaica doesn't think twice about what his actions, and his lack of acting is doing to a hormonal, sensitive, vulnerable and emotional person.

When he finds out she terminated the pregnancy he is ANGRY. Now he wants to consider the life that they could have brought to fruition. Prince Jamaica acts like he is a victim in the situation. But let's remember the countless times where Princess China tried to have a conversation with him. He now believes Princess China is EVIL, Wicked, even demonic. He is angry she would take the life of his child. Meanwhile, Princess China is happy and back to her normal self and this angers the Prince further.

Now, there's several things occurring here. You have a real life situation where the man's role is more costly by him not saying anything. Prince Jamaica made the choice to NOT say anything about the situation, he chose to assume that by being vague about his views and selfishly demanding for Princess China to hand over her baby would have a different outcome. Now because Prince Jamaica was being a cowardly man, Princess China was FORCED to independently make a decision to the best of her ability while she was abandoned in a situation she did not get into ALONE. The only reason why Princess China is at peace is because she took responsibility of a situation she was facing ALONE and she is happy because she made her choice with good intentions

Why is Prince Jamaica ANGRY or even thinking Princess China is EVIL????? LOL =0)

Because when you don't take into account your role or your absent role in ANY SITUATION then you are cut out of important decisions and those decisions may be the exact opposite of what you wanted. You can't walk through life NOT saying, responding or acting when necessary. Now, Prince Jamaica is angry because not only did he not have a say in something that was in direct opposition of his core beliefs and value systems. He is further angry because he is viewing his self as a victim opposed to an active party, an ADULT in a situation that cost a person's life. We know he didn't give a damn, the only reason why he is angry is because he has yet to accept the fact that his failure to act cost him a life, all because his pride won't allow him to be accountable for his actions.

Some people might say well Princess China should have waited longer. I say this as a woman who has been pregnant enough times to know that those pregnancy hormones are no joke. Prince Jamaica should be glad that Princess China did not try to kill him. Pregnancy Hormones= Crazy beyond Crazy. Any man knows sometimes, well nearly all the time, even I do it... Just give the pregnant women what they want...LOL But for real.

The point is if we all learn to take into accountability our role or the impact we have on people; if we consider how not being there, not acknowledging people or not talking can cause people to do the exact thing you don't want them to do then we'd all be happier. If we learn how to be fair and have compassion then things like this won't happen at any degree. From something huge like keeping a pregnancy or something minor like paint for an apartment.

 

The problem is people are too full of pride to acknowledge their faults in a situation that they contributed to by not saying or doing anything. Learn to take accountability for yourself and the things you do or you will be angry, you will feel lost and unheard... And you will be right, because no one hears anyone who does not speak up when it matters the most especially when they are accountable for a circumstance.